- Hopeful, like I am pregnant. I dream of baby names, birth plans and nursery layouts. I wonder about day care, immunizations and breastfeeding. I am so happy I feel high.
- Depressed, sure that it didn't work. Out of 19 eggs we got only 1 perfect embryo. So not only am I not pregnant - obviously my eggs are crap. Not that we have any money for another cycle or any embryos that were good enough to freeze so absolutely no back up plan. Basically I am not pregnant and have no conceivable (ha!) way to have a child.
- Kinda mellow, thinking it didn't work but not devastated. Thinking about getting my life and my body back. Excited to drink diet coke, beer and tequila. Ready to work up a sweat jogging, cleaning the house within an inch of it's life and have wild orgasmic sex. Fantasize about planning the honeymoon we never got to take.
So you can see my mental state right now. Really overall it's been okay - I have mostly been keeping my mind off of things by reading lots of books and watching movies. Did no real bedrest - just 2 days couch rest and tried to relax. Later today I'm going to take a long shower, shave my legs and do something outside. Maybe take a walk at the local park and bring a blanket and my book.
I really thought I'd be the obsessive crazy woman afraid my embryos were going to fall out but it's been the opposite. I had a massive bm (sorry for tmi) about 6 hours post transfer and it didn't even faze me. I mean I'm certainly not going to hold that in and end up in the hospital again! So I pushed and pushed and knew that if pooping was going to ruin my chances of pregnancy then I am just not cut out for this.
Great that you're PUPO with twins :))... and can completely understand all the mixed thoughts and emotions. Sending you lots of sticky vibes xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh the 2WW is such a rollercoaster of emotions - I range from ecstatic to full on depression! You will get there - stay positive!
ReplyDeleteHahaha!
ReplyDeleteThe 2ww is awful! And, it does not take perfect embryos to make a baby! I am hopeful for you. Are you going to test?
Ha!! Hello. You are me and I am you. I am swinging back and forth between all of the same emotions. Yet i've done....maybe 4 hours of something resembling bedrest maybe. I went out to eat right after transfer and I went right back to work the next day in heels. *shrug*
ReplyDeleteI challenge you to a contest. last one to pee on a stick wins!
Boy do those feelings sound familiar! You've definitely described everything I've felt the past days. I hate the 2WW. I wish there was a way we could know in advance. I'd poke myself with needles 5 times a day in exchange! It's pure torture! I just have one more day to go, but I think these last hours are going to be the worst!
ReplyDeleteHang in there girl!
Oh and thanks for the birthday wishes the other day!
I can COMPLETELY relate!!! I've gone through each of the thoughts and emotions about 1000 times each in the past week!!
ReplyDeleteSuch a familiar process. Wishing you peace and rest....
ReplyDeleteThe two week wait and the constant emotional roller coaster are exhausting. I wish you all the best and hope you hear some wonderful news soon!
ReplyDeleteI don't know how anyone could not have these personalities. It is your minds way of preparing for what your body is currently cooking up. But the truth is, when the 2ww is over, your mind will make its decision how to feel/act when it has all the info, regardless of how you thought you would feel while waiting, just the BM.
ReplyDeleteAhhh, the craziness of the 2ww. Keeping busy is the key, so you are off to a great start! And I am cracking up about the BM. Hang in there!
ReplyDelete