Best. Night. Ever. - Night 2 of 'sleep training'

I did a lot of research (a.k.a. googling yesterday) about sleep training.  The thing I read that made me most happy is to tackle the night first, then move on to naps.  While sleep training it is best that they get good naps and are well-rested.  So yesterday she took her first nap in her crib for about an hour and half.  Nap 2 in the afternoon was in my lap on the couch - two hours.

Last night I could tell she was getting tired at 6:30 pm (always goes down early when she has 2 naps - with 3 naps shes up til 9 or 10).  We went up to the nursery.  I nursed her, then rocked her while humming. She was asleep in about 10 minutes.  I rocked her for a few more minutes and put her down. Over the next few hours I heard her fuss momentarily, saw her flip over and stick her butt up in the air (cutest thing ever-see pic below), but never cry.  She didn't wake up crying until 3:45!!!!!!  That is the longest she has ever slept - 8.75 hours straight!

I went in and picked her up (I guess we can't call what we are doing cry it out exactly, more like fuss it out).  She was crying and had been asleep longer than she ever had so I nursed her and rocked her.  I put her down before she was completely asleep though.  And she fussed and rocked while holding onto the siderails for only about 2 minutes before she laid down and PUT HERSELF TO SLEEP!

My husband was mad that I nursed her because we really want to end the night feeds but nursing once at night sure beats 6-8 times a night which had been her norm recently!

Obviously I know our sleep drama is not over completely, but we are sure making strides.  She and I can both do this, if we get off track at some point we just have to jump back in.

Well we did it

A little Cry It Out.  At 10+ months I think it must be less harmful right?  Let the night-weaning begin!

Crib at 9pm
Woke at 12am - cried on and off for an hour - hubby went in 3 times to comfort her but not pick her up.  Just stroked her head and patted her butt.  He said she went from standing at the rail screaming, to just swaying back and forth fussing, to silently swaying, then laid down and went to sleep.
Woke at 6:45 - I nursed her and rocked her.  She fell asleep in my arms and I tried to lay her back down but she cried so we got up for the day.

Where was I during the night cries?  In the guest room, a unisom and a beer in my belly, with white noise drowning out the crying.  I highly recommend this.  9 hours straight of sleep.  My body is in shock and awe.  My brain feels alive for the first time in MONTHS.

Tonight it is my turn.  I plan on wearing a high neckline tight top to disallow access to the ladies.  Wish me luck--I am definitely not as strong as my husband so I hope I don't buckle.  BUT even if I suck at it at least we know she is able to put herself to sleep - she is just stubborn and likes our help.

Thank you! (and a visit to the pumpkin patch)

It was good to hear your sleep struggles and to get suggestions.  Thank you very much.  Last night I was so tired - and she was sacked out on her daddy's chest after a trying day at the pumpkin patch - so I just took her to bed with me.  We both slept pretty good - I did have to whip one out a few times but I barely roused for that.  :-)  My DH and I are planning on night weaning "in a few days when we are not so tired".  LOL.  Before her 1st birthday is my goal.

Here are a few pics from the pumpkin patch!

SLEEP

The one and only thing I have been consitently worried about, the only thing that makes me cry, the thing that stresses my marriage and my ability to be a good mother - sleep.  Or lack thereof.

I'm sure it's my fault.  I think my husband thinks that.  I am fairly certain my in-laws think that.

We exclusively breastfeed (in case you missed my novel on the subject yesterday!).  The first few weeks into the first few months the experts recommend feeding on demand.  It's good for the baby and good for your supply.  That means if the newborn wants to nurse every hour all night long you do it.  I actually handled this pretty well.  I mean every newborn is up all night right?

My struggle is our 10 month old nurses 2-3 times a night still.  Or like last night - 6 times. SIX.

My mom said she is probably going through a growth spurt, she just learned to walk and is getting a new tooth and that disrupts sleep and makes them seek comfort.  Ok yes I know that is a possibility.  But it has been going on for 2+weeks now.  AAAAHHHHH

From birth - 6 months she slept in bed with us all night every night, and actually took almost all of her naps in our arms.  She would wake up anytime we laid her down.  I didn't really mind and neither did my husband.  We put the glider in the living room and would watch tv on mute with subtitles while she slept.

At 6 months something changed and she wouldn't wake up when laid down.  ALLELUIA!  She was able to be put in her pack n play for naps, sometimes even her crib althought that seemed to be more difficult.

Starting at 9 months we got her in her crib for most naps and in her crib for the first shift of the night.  Usually from 8/9ish-12/1ish.  Almost always a 4 hour stretch.  When she wakes up crying I bring her to our bed, nurse her, and she used to sleep until morning.  Lately I bring her to my bed, she nurses and falls asleep, and then tries to nurse every hour or so.  Last night I slept with my breasts both hanging out and she snacked while I slept.

I think I know what I need to do.  Try to get her to stay in the crib all night long.  I wouldn't be adverse to letting her fuss/cry a little when she wakes up to see if she will get herself back down but the second she wakes up she jumps up, dances back and forth while holding on to the side, and yells.  That is not restful behavior.

Tonight I am going to try to just rock her back to sleep and get her back into her crib when she wakes at about midnight. The problem is I'm lazy and have never fully wakened myself in the night to soothe a baby - co-sleeping means I have comforted her half-asleep all these months.

I guess I don't really have any questions, I just wanted to vent.  I don't want to set my daughter up for failure in sleep habits in the future.  We have made HUGE strides - she can sleep by herself.  She cannot soothe herself to sleep however.  I never did the whole "put them in the crib drowsy but awake" thing.  I tried it the other day and she jumped up and laughed.  Is she going to be damaged from this?

Mostly I want to hear stories about your struggles.  Misery loves company and I need some.

I just told the abbreviated version of this to a friend at work and she told me all her kids slept through the night at 8 weeks.  Umm yeah, that is very helpful.  Thanks so much.

Thoughts on breast feeding a 10 month old+

To start this post I want to state that I think formula is a fine choice, babies grow up healthy on it, and moms who choose (or are forced to choose) to give their babies formula are wonderful mothers.

Our breastfeeding journey was tumultuous at first and since has been fairly smooth sailing.  And I feel that any bumps in the road are completely and utterly worth the benefits to both me and my baby.

Day 1- I was on a mag drip, recovering from a 12 hour induction turned emergency c-section.  They brought me my premature 5lb 12oz baby girl and tried to get her latched on the breast.  This was still in the recovery phase after the surgery I believe (mag makes everything blurry and hard to remember).  As her lips were coming at my nipples I saw that the nurse had taped these straw like things to my breast.  I said, "Is that formula?".  She pulled the baby away (probably sensing that I was not ok with this plan, actually probably deciding then and there that I was a LACTIVIST) and said, "With premature babies like yours they don't have a proper suck reflex.  We have standing orders to add formula to get them interested."  Standing orders people.  DON'T TELL THE MOTHERS!  I mean seriously!  I know it (almost definintely) wouldn't have hurt her but the lack of communication astounded me.

The nurse then untaped the formula straws and helped me get Pipsqueak latched on.  Which she did very well thank you very much!!  Everyone was impressed with her suck reflex.  HAHA!  Point one for my babe! (I was unbelievably proud of her)

Days 2-4 - My milk was not yet coming in.  Since she had been rushed to NICU blue, not breathing and limp with an Apgar of 2 (read THIS POST for all of the gory details) she had an IV in her hand and had been receiving iv fluids with a small amount of glucose in them.  They took out the IV on day 3 I believe.  Day 4 my milk still wasn't really in (it takes longer for C-section moms!) so they kept checking her blood sugar, telling me she would need formula if it dropped.  Obviously I verbalized my displeasure with that plan.  Well her blood sugar stayed in the 80s.  (Again I was as proud of her as if she had won the Nobel Prize).  Her pediatrician came by and told me she had a borderline high bilirubin.  I forget the number exactly but it was barely high at all.  He said they'd recheck it in the morning and if it went up it would be no big deal - just a day under the bili lights.

Day 5 - This was the day I was put to the test.  At 5am my night nurse came in and told me her bilirubin had risen (still not that high, maybe 14?) and she would have to have formula.  I freaked - in that way that only hormonally charged new mothers can freak.  I cried so hard I literally lost my breath with choking.  I told her the pediatrician hadn't said that, and that I absolutely refused to consent to fomula.  I made my husband go home and get my mom and bring her back to the hospital - poor woman, after 3 nights in the hospital with me she was finally sleeping in a bed and not a rocking chair and I interrupted it.  Sorry Mom!

You may be asking yourself why the fuck I was so hellbent on refusing formula.  It's kind of funny, if it happened right now I may just let them give her a bottle to shut them up but I had just finished reading a book about breastfeeding - 7 simple laws for breastfeeding - and it just stuck in my mind.  Any introduction of formula can increase the chance for food allergies, can decrease my supply etc.  I was really worked up.  I think the biggest reason was so much of this pregnancy was out of my hands - the conception, the bed rest, scary high blood pressure, induction and csection.  THIS was something I could control damn it!

The on-call ped that day was a BIATCH.  I so missed the nice gentleman from the previous days.  She pretty much lectured us for 20 minutes.  Even said, "In some cases we get a court order for a feeding tube".  My husband replied, "is that a threat?".  That shut her up. I mean REALLY.  She was dumb.  Either that or she had formula fed her children (which is FINE!) and felt defensive.  I don't know.  I can say that I really wanted to call her up a few days later when the news reports came out about some newborns dying from tainted formula.  Man oh man did I want to talk to her about that.

We had the baby under the bili lights that day constantly for 12 hours other than for 30 min feeds every 3 hours.  There was all this talk about DEHYDRATION and SHE MUST PEE or she will need another IV or FORMULA because YOUR MILK HASN'T COME IN ENOUGH.  Big words from small people.  Luckily my milk began to come in in earnest.  I also had a couple of caring nurses who helped me pump and syringe feed breast milk after she was done nursing.  She kept peeing and the lights lowered her bili.  WIN!

Once we got home things were WAY easier.  Less stressful and more calming which helped.  There was a 2-3 week period where I gave pumped milk exclusively because I thought she was having nippled confusion but it actually ended up being reflux.

At 10+ months I can say the only drawback at this point is I think sleep is more challenging with an exclusively breastfed infant.  She wants comfort in the night and the most comforting thing on the planet evidently is my tits.  Who knew?  I plan on a whole sleep post soon so I will go into details later.

I plan on continuing breast feeding at least til a year, hopefully longer.  We have talked about maybe trying IVF again next summer so that would mean weaning her in spring I suppose.  For now I am not thinking about it too much.  My ped told me that she can have some whole milk starting at 10 months so I am relieved that the pressure of my frozen stash is going away.  It is down to only about 20 oz so it's nice to know my husband can supplement with milk while I'm at work (but I hope to hold off til 12 months for this).

Here is a quick list of the positives I have experienced with breastfeeding this past year:

-weight loss
-my cholesterol and triglycerides have lowered considerably (from high normal to perfect)
-my good cholesterol has risen
-my daughter has not had a single cold or illness

It is not always easy, and at times can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders but I think it's worth it.  The days of pumping in a closet space at work will soon be behind me but I think the positive health results will last both Pipsqueak and I for years to come. (that ended sappily I am sorry.  Also I am sorry for the length of this post.  WOWZERS)

ICLW October

Wow I haven't done an ICLW in forevs. I've been reading a lot of blogs lately so it seemed as good a time as any!!

Quick recap of our story:
Tried naturally for a year with no luck.

Diagnosed with severe male factor infertility in April 2010.

Debated IVF vs donor IUI ad nauseum.

Moved forward with IVF in April 2011 and were blessedly successful. Did note a borderline high FSH (11.something) which has me worried for the future.

Our daughter Pipsqueak was born via emergency c-section at 35 weeks. Pregnancy included pre-eclampsia and bed rest for the last 5 weeks. Fun!! All worth it of course.

She is now 10 1/2 months old. We are still breastfeeding and still struggling with all of us getting enough sleep. Discussions are going on regarding trying for a second (no frozen embies so we will need to start over) I plan on writing about all of these topics in the coming week.

Ok back to work now. I hate working on Sundays!! Miss the football games!