7dp5dt

(written 2/26/15)
I haven't been blogging like usual during a cycle, probably because I'm still keeping everything in draft.  We STILL haven't told our families that we cycled.  Any who.......

You all just know I have been peeing on sticks.  I told myself and DH I wasn't going to this cycle but I am an addict.

First extremely faint positive on an IC was at 5dp5dt in the evening, although later I think I can see a v v v v faint line on the evening test from 4dp5dt.  I was SOOOOOOOOOOO excited of course!!!  BUT, our chemical pregnancy last time has really messed with my head, so definitely way more guarded than ever before.  Luckily sticks have gotten darker!  There are NO First Response Early Results to be found in this country, which is the test I have always used in previous cycles, so I have no way of comparing to past cycles, which I think might be a blessing.  I have done approximately 10 ICs (I am calling the Internet Cheapies, but really they are kind of expensive dip strip tests that look and act just like an IC.  Tests are SOOOOO expensive here!), 2 Clearblue regular tests, and one Clearblue Digital yesterday that came up 1-2 weeks since conception which is spot on.

Here are what my symptoms have been (mostly for my own records, but maybe someone else in the 2ww after IVF will find it helpful):

1dp5dt: abdominal twinges, diarrhea
2dp5dt: abdominal twinges, diarrhea (never had this before, not sure if it's from meds?)
3dp5dt: wake up in the very early morning hours with bad cramps, feel just like AF is about to start any second.  If I wasn't in the 2ww I would've been popping ibuprofen.  It lasts about 12-18 hours.
4dp5dt: all symptoms disappear, I feel all hope is lost.  That evening I eat a big mexican meal in anticipation of a coming BFN and need for going back on the paleo diet.
5dp5dt: wake up with what I would call "uterine heaviness".  Not cramps, just a heavy feeling and an awareness of my uterus.  POAS and faint bfp :)
6dp5dt: heavy uterus, breasts start to ache
7dp5dt: heavy uterus, breasts ache, nipples hurt badly when brushed agains, nipples erect?

And that's where we are at.  Beta is scheduled for tomorrow, but their lab is closed on Fridays so the result won't be run util Saturday.

Here are the meds I am on now:

Estradiol 3x day
Cyclogest supp 3x day
Clexane SQ daily
PIO every other day

Ohhhhh I just don't know how to feel.  

Egg Retrieval and transfer updates....

(written 2/20/15)
Haven't been keeping as good of a record this time around, probably because I haven't been live blogging....just didn't want to worry my mom about having all of this done 8,000 miles away.  I am thinking about telling her soon though, so then I will be posting my blogs.

Big shout out to Turia for keeping me sane these last few weeks.  Love you girl, you're a great sounding board for my rambled thoughts, and I always feel like you are one of the people in this world who truly "get me".

So I ended up stimming for 9 days on 225 of Merional (believe it is the equivalent of menopur).  I did no down regulation at all, no birth control pills, no lupron.

Egg retrieval was 2/14....making babies on Valentine's Day.  I love it and continue to hope that it's a good omen.

All along I had 22+ follicles, but only had 8 eggs retrieved.  To say I was disappointed was an understatement.  My dr reminded me that we purposely stimulated me less than my 2 previous long DR cycles (300 bravelle and 75 menopur both times), and were going for quality bot quantity.  She said my first two cycles my estrogen was so high (6-7,000 at trigger) that my egg quality was probably affected. This cycle my estrogen was 2,000 at trigger.

Egg retrieval was the most painful experience of my life.  My 2 hours in recovery was as bad as the height of labor.  This stupid country and it's fear of narcotics is not ok.  I was completely knocked out during the procedure, but recovery was given tylenol IV, because we all know how great tylenol helps severe pain.  Also mentally I was feeling bad, the anesthesiologist popped her head in and questioned me about my trigger shot.  "Did you take all of it?  At the right time?  You're sure you didn't forget?",  "We just don't know why so many of your follicles were empty".  I was devastated.  Googling empty follicles made me think most of my eggs were "over cooked".

Out of 8 eggs, 5 fertilized with IMSI.  Probable 3 day transfer provisionally scheduled.

Day 3 I got the call saying all were doing wonderful and we were pushing to day 5.  I didn't know at the time but I now know our embryos were 9 cell, 8 cell, 8 cell, 8 cell and 7 cell.  No fragmentation.

Day 5 was yesterday 2/19.  I was about to puke I was so nervous while waiting for the embryologist to come in.  My husband was out in the waiting room (due to the extreme modesty rules of Muslim women men aren't allowed back in recovery rooms or transfer rooms) so I was alone, twitching with nervousness.

FINALLY (seriously I twitched for about an hour, they were way behind), she walked in smiling and said, "It's very good news".  My heart literally stopped.  I had psyched myself up to hear, "We only have morulas today" or "There's one blast but it doesn't look good".

Our 5 fertilized eggs on day 5 were:
-5bb
-5aa
-4aa
-4aa
-early blast with fragmentation.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't even explain the jubilation I felt.  She didn't even tell me the grades, I just snooped on her clipboard.  She said we would transfer 2.  Then she left.

What?!?!  I have never had more than 2 blasts, and only once have I had a 5aa (Pipsqueak I assume).

Transfer was painless besides the fact that I over filled my bladder by a ton.  The embryologist picked the very best 2 and those were transferred.  I got to see them up on the screen, so amazing!  Never had the chance to see any of our embryos before.

I requested to talk with the embryologist before I left.  The director of the lab sat me down, he was so nice and spoke perfect English so no language barrier.  He said the 5aa was an easy pick, as it was perfect and exactly where it should be.  The next embryo he chose was one of the 4aas.

So now I am 1dp5dt.  I am staying at a hotel for a couple nights as we had some points to use.  I got upgraded to a business suite and am relaxing to the max!

Please stick little ones.  You are SO wanted.  xoxo

Stims day 9

(written 2/11/15)
After 8 stims doses, again at a smaller dose than my last 2 long DR cycles...

I have over 20 follicles ranging from 19-23mm!  Uterine lining is 16mm and triple stripe.  The dr said we can expect 20 eggs!!!!!  I pushed her to give me a chance of success, she said 60-65%.  I will take it!!!

Lots of exclamation points today.

They sent me home with a smaller dose of stims and cetrotide in case they want one more dose, but I don't think that's gonna happen. They also sent me home with 2 separate trigger shots, depending on my E2 level as to probability of OHSS.  

Omg I'm feeling really positive. Hope I'm not setting myself up for failure.

I asked about freezing eggs.  (Freezing embryos is frustratingly illegal here!!).  I asked how many mature eggs we would need to think about freezing half.  She said if we end up with 16-18 or more mature eggs we should probably freeze half.  Any less than that and we will just fertilize all of them.

Ooohhhh please let this work.   We are ready for you little Arabian Bebe!

Day 5 stim monitoring

(written 2/8/15)
After 4 days of stimming with Merional 225 units (compared to 375 total units on my last 2 long cycles) I have "tons of follicles" measuring 11-13mm.  Uterus is triple stripe and 13mm.  Estradiol is 348.  Clearly the short protocol is going to stim me faster even though the dose is decreased.  My last 2 cycles at this point my estradiol was 200 and my biggest follie was 9mm.

Feeling really positive about this cycle.....good vibes to the universe please....

CD2 monitoring appt

(written 2/3/15)
So here we goooooooo!

Hubby's last hormonal panel was all normal, so no meds are gonna get his numbers up high enough for IUI.  So IVF/IMSI here we come!

CD2 monitoring appt today went well!  U/s showed lots of "baby follicles" as my dr put it, and labs were all normal. 

FSH 7.5

LH 5.9

Estradiol 21

Progesterone 0.7

Tomorrow I meet with the IVF nurse to go over my meds and protocol, and to be taught about injections. Seeing as this is my 3rd IVF and I'm an RN I think I have it covered but oh well.  They offer daily injections in their clinic but will allow me to inject myself at home. Thank god as its a bit of a cab ride to and from the clinic and it would get old and expensive quickly!!

She looked over my old records and said they will not stimulate me as hard as my previous clinic did.  I was on Bravelle 300 and Menopur 75,  she said they use a different but similar med and we will probably start with 225 instead.  Sounds good as I think I was overstimulated both times prior with estradiol a over 6,000!

I'm not nearly as nervous as I was last time, and I think it helps that I'm keeping this secret from almost everyone in my life.  Thus why I'm blogging but not publishing until later.  I want a record but like not having to immediately report everything to my mom, mother in law, All my friends etc.

Zen, positive feelings, good diet, moderate exercise and warm compresses to the abdomen are my mantras.... 😬