7+2, 7+3 spotting...

Ugh.

Yesterday (7+2) I noticed the smallest, most scanty bit of tan spotting when I wiped.  I immediately texted my dr, who told me to go back on the PIO every other day this week until my 8 week scan.  I had to go into the clinic to pick up some more PIO.  While there my dr saw me, ushered me into an exam room and did a quick abdominal u/s.  She said she saw both heartbeats. I could see one clearly, and hear it I think (it was awfully muffled), but the other embryo was much harder to see, "below the other one" according to the dr.  But the dr said it also had a good heartbeat.  So that all made me feel a little better. I rested all day yesterday and the spotting immediately stopped.

This morning I woke up to cramps, it's hard to tell if they are any worse than they have been, I've had them on and off since  transfer.  I didn't have any spotting the first couple hours I was awake, but then it started back up again.  At first tan, then pink, then brown, now it seems to have subsided again.  I texted my dr, she said to do the PIO daily.

Google and my twin forum girls all tell me this can be absolutely normal, can be a loss of one twin, or can be the beginnings of a total loss of pregnancy.  5 more days till the next transvag u/s.  Please keep your fingers crossed for me!

7 weeks

I think I am 7 weeks today, as egg retrieval was 5 weeks ago today.  My clinic is dating me one day behind which is weird, I think I am right.

I am feeling good!  Had one episode of vomiting this week (into the kitchen sink, yuck), and have had lethargy and nausea, but nothing extreme.  Please oh please let me not be as sick as I was with Pipsqueak!

Lots of changes possibly in the works, fingers crossed: moving back to the USA!  Oh please let this work out!  Lots of things need to be figured out, but it's looking good!

I read "Expecting Twins, Triples and Quads" in one day.  So much information, a little overwhelming, but it is a great read.  I am trying to make a concerted effort to up my protein and calcium.

Next ultrasound in 8 days.  I am extremely impatient!

TWO heartbeats!

Today's U/S was everything an U/S should be, for all of us.  No doom and gloom, only good measurements, and a Dr saying, "Everything looks perfect, there are absolutely no signs that anything will go wrong".

I am 6+3, Twin A measures 6+1 with a heart rate of 132, Twin B measures 6+2 with a heart rate of 126.  Sac sizes and yolk sac sizes normal.

I could see the hearts flickering, so freaking insane!  We tried to listen but it wasn't picking up very good.  Could hear it for just a second.  Repeat U/S in 11 days at 8 weeks exactly, when we should be able to hear them more easily.

My bp was perfect, I've only gained 1/2 lb even though I am eating everything in sight.  Pretty much the perfect appt.  Oh I hope those stupid weird beta doubling times are the only blip in this pregnancy!


I am having TWINS. OMG.

First U/S - 5w4d

So I am finally publishing all of these blog posts about my super secret IVF #3.  We told our parents today so I can blog again, hooray!

Today was our first u/s.  I was alone as Pipsqueak was ill so DH had to stay with her.  The dr inserted the wand and asked, "What do you see?"  I said, "TWO?".  Then burst into tears.  She said, "We put back 2, what did you expect?".  And I replied, "Truthfully I expected to see nothing!".  She then chastised me for being so negative.  Unfortunately I have had a bit of time in beta hell, and I have kept my heart guarded.  Here are my betas for all of you to enjoy with me :)

8dp5dt  103

9dp5dt  135 (doubling time of 60 hrs) - beta done the next day due to spotting

12dp5dt 327 (doubling time 56 hrs)

14dp5dt 599 (doubling time 54 hrs)

18dp5dt 2147 (doubling time 52 hours)

So as you can see, numbers were pretty spot on for a singleton.  Doubling times weren't fantastic like I wanted them to be, but they were more than adequate.  The dr kept saying they were "fabulous".  

Today's U/S showed two perfectly sized gestational sacs, each with a perfectly sized yolk sac, and one had the first signs of a fetal pole.  She said this was perfect.  Repeat U/S in 6 days at 6w3d when hopefully we will see some heartbeats!!!!

Here is the U/S, not the best image, but on the screen up on the wall the sacs looked huge!  And the yolk sacs just looked so damn perfect.

7dp5dt

(written 2/26/15)
I haven't been blogging like usual during a cycle, probably because I'm still keeping everything in draft.  We STILL haven't told our families that we cycled.  Any who.......

You all just know I have been peeing on sticks.  I told myself and DH I wasn't going to this cycle but I am an addict.

First extremely faint positive on an IC was at 5dp5dt in the evening, although later I think I can see a v v v v faint line on the evening test from 4dp5dt.  I was SOOOOOOOOOOO excited of course!!!  BUT, our chemical pregnancy last time has really messed with my head, so definitely way more guarded than ever before.  Luckily sticks have gotten darker!  There are NO First Response Early Results to be found in this country, which is the test I have always used in previous cycles, so I have no way of comparing to past cycles, which I think might be a blessing.  I have done approximately 10 ICs (I am calling the Internet Cheapies, but really they are kind of expensive dip strip tests that look and act just like an IC.  Tests are SOOOOO expensive here!), 2 Clearblue regular tests, and one Clearblue Digital yesterday that came up 1-2 weeks since conception which is spot on.

Here are what my symptoms have been (mostly for my own records, but maybe someone else in the 2ww after IVF will find it helpful):

1dp5dt: abdominal twinges, diarrhea
2dp5dt: abdominal twinges, diarrhea (never had this before, not sure if it's from meds?)
3dp5dt: wake up in the very early morning hours with bad cramps, feel just like AF is about to start any second.  If I wasn't in the 2ww I would've been popping ibuprofen.  It lasts about 12-18 hours.
4dp5dt: all symptoms disappear, I feel all hope is lost.  That evening I eat a big mexican meal in anticipation of a coming BFN and need for going back on the paleo diet.
5dp5dt: wake up with what I would call "uterine heaviness".  Not cramps, just a heavy feeling and an awareness of my uterus.  POAS and faint bfp :)
6dp5dt: heavy uterus, breasts start to ache
7dp5dt: heavy uterus, breasts ache, nipples hurt badly when brushed agains, nipples erect?

And that's where we are at.  Beta is scheduled for tomorrow, but their lab is closed on Fridays so the result won't be run util Saturday.

Here are the meds I am on now:

Estradiol 3x day
Cyclogest supp 3x day
Clexane SQ daily
PIO every other day

Ohhhhh I just don't know how to feel.  

Egg Retrieval and transfer updates....

(written 2/20/15)
Haven't been keeping as good of a record this time around, probably because I haven't been live blogging....just didn't want to worry my mom about having all of this done 8,000 miles away.  I am thinking about telling her soon though, so then I will be posting my blogs.

Big shout out to Turia for keeping me sane these last few weeks.  Love you girl, you're a great sounding board for my rambled thoughts, and I always feel like you are one of the people in this world who truly "get me".

So I ended up stimming for 9 days on 225 of Merional (believe it is the equivalent of menopur).  I did no down regulation at all, no birth control pills, no lupron.

Egg retrieval was 2/14....making babies on Valentine's Day.  I love it and continue to hope that it's a good omen.

All along I had 22+ follicles, but only had 8 eggs retrieved.  To say I was disappointed was an understatement.  My dr reminded me that we purposely stimulated me less than my 2 previous long DR cycles (300 bravelle and 75 menopur both times), and were going for quality bot quantity.  She said my first two cycles my estrogen was so high (6-7,000 at trigger) that my egg quality was probably affected. This cycle my estrogen was 2,000 at trigger.

Egg retrieval was the most painful experience of my life.  My 2 hours in recovery was as bad as the height of labor.  This stupid country and it's fear of narcotics is not ok.  I was completely knocked out during the procedure, but recovery was given tylenol IV, because we all know how great tylenol helps severe pain.  Also mentally I was feeling bad, the anesthesiologist popped her head in and questioned me about my trigger shot.  "Did you take all of it?  At the right time?  You're sure you didn't forget?",  "We just don't know why so many of your follicles were empty".  I was devastated.  Googling empty follicles made me think most of my eggs were "over cooked".

Out of 8 eggs, 5 fertilized with IMSI.  Probable 3 day transfer provisionally scheduled.

Day 3 I got the call saying all were doing wonderful and we were pushing to day 5.  I didn't know at the time but I now know our embryos were 9 cell, 8 cell, 8 cell, 8 cell and 7 cell.  No fragmentation.

Day 5 was yesterday 2/19.  I was about to puke I was so nervous while waiting for the embryologist to come in.  My husband was out in the waiting room (due to the extreme modesty rules of Muslim women men aren't allowed back in recovery rooms or transfer rooms) so I was alone, twitching with nervousness.

FINALLY (seriously I twitched for about an hour, they were way behind), she walked in smiling and said, "It's very good news".  My heart literally stopped.  I had psyched myself up to hear, "We only have morulas today" or "There's one blast but it doesn't look good".

Our 5 fertilized eggs on day 5 were:
-5bb
-5aa
-4aa
-4aa
-early blast with fragmentation.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't even explain the jubilation I felt.  She didn't even tell me the grades, I just snooped on her clipboard.  She said we would transfer 2.  Then she left.

What?!?!  I have never had more than 2 blasts, and only once have I had a 5aa (Pipsqueak I assume).

Transfer was painless besides the fact that I over filled my bladder by a ton.  The embryologist picked the very best 2 and those were transferred.  I got to see them up on the screen, so amazing!  Never had the chance to see any of our embryos before.

I requested to talk with the embryologist before I left.  The director of the lab sat me down, he was so nice and spoke perfect English so no language barrier.  He said the 5aa was an easy pick, as it was perfect and exactly where it should be.  The next embryo he chose was one of the 4aas.

So now I am 1dp5dt.  I am staying at a hotel for a couple nights as we had some points to use.  I got upgraded to a business suite and am relaxing to the max!

Please stick little ones.  You are SO wanted.  xoxo

Stims day 9

(written 2/11/15)
After 8 stims doses, again at a smaller dose than my last 2 long DR cycles...

I have over 20 follicles ranging from 19-23mm!  Uterine lining is 16mm and triple stripe.  The dr said we can expect 20 eggs!!!!!  I pushed her to give me a chance of success, she said 60-65%.  I will take it!!!

Lots of exclamation points today.

They sent me home with a smaller dose of stims and cetrotide in case they want one more dose, but I don't think that's gonna happen. They also sent me home with 2 separate trigger shots, depending on my E2 level as to probability of OHSS.  

Omg I'm feeling really positive. Hope I'm not setting myself up for failure.

I asked about freezing eggs.  (Freezing embryos is frustratingly illegal here!!).  I asked how many mature eggs we would need to think about freezing half.  She said if we end up with 16-18 or more mature eggs we should probably freeze half.  Any less than that and we will just fertilize all of them.

Ooohhhh please let this work.   We are ready for you little Arabian Bebe!

Day 5 stim monitoring

(written 2/8/15)
After 4 days of stimming with Merional 225 units (compared to 375 total units on my last 2 long cycles) I have "tons of follicles" measuring 11-13mm.  Uterus is triple stripe and 13mm.  Estradiol is 348.  Clearly the short protocol is going to stim me faster even though the dose is decreased.  My last 2 cycles at this point my estradiol was 200 and my biggest follie was 9mm.

Feeling really positive about this cycle.....good vibes to the universe please....

CD2 monitoring appt

(written 2/3/15)
So here we goooooooo!

Hubby's last hormonal panel was all normal, so no meds are gonna get his numbers up high enough for IUI.  So IVF/IMSI here we come!

CD2 monitoring appt today went well!  U/s showed lots of "baby follicles" as my dr put it, and labs were all normal. 

FSH 7.5

LH 5.9

Estradiol 21

Progesterone 0.7

Tomorrow I meet with the IVF nurse to go over my meds and protocol, and to be taught about injections. Seeing as this is my 3rd IVF and I'm an RN I think I have it covered but oh well.  They offer daily injections in their clinic but will allow me to inject myself at home. Thank god as its a bit of a cab ride to and from the clinic and it would get old and expensive quickly!!

She looked over my old records and said they will not stimulate me as hard as my previous clinic did.  I was on Bravelle 300 and Menopur 75,  she said they use a different but similar med and we will probably start with 225 instead.  Sounds good as I think I was overstimulated both times prior with estradiol a over 6,000!

I'm not nearly as nervous as I was last time, and I think it helps that I'm keeping this secret from almost everyone in my life.  Thus why I'm blogging but not publishing until later.  I want a record but like not having to immediately report everything to my mom, mother in law, All my friends etc.

Zen, positive feelings, good diet, moderate exercise and warm compresses to the abdomen are my mantras.... 😬

CD 12 and DH's test results

(written 1/15/15)
Went to the IVF clinic again today, mostly to review DH's labs.

His SA was his best yet! 12 mil/ml, 2.0 ml volume, motility 40%, morphology 4%.

Why his numbers are all so much better than a few years ago I'm not sure!  Perhaps he was extremely vitamin D deficient back in the Midwest, and moving to the desert has fixed it?  He's also started meditating, although I would doubt that would cause a 125% increase!

His hormones were all normal. Testosterone, FSH, estradiol, prolactin, LH.  All normal. So really no meds could help his counts come up.

So we are left with the recommendation of him taking multivitamin, fish oil, antioxidants and to ejaculate every other day (helps with motility and morphology, wouldn't help overall count).

IUI would be futile, yet we were also told to try naturally until we do IVF.  

She said I had a lead follicle of 23mm today, so I'm to ovulate tonight or tomorrow. DH gets home tomorrow night, we shall see if we can muster up the energy, lol.  He's been travelling like mad and I have a pulled muscle in my neck.

Today I rode in a cab with my husband's jizz in my bra

(written 1/9/15)
I know other infertiles have had this job before, but it was my first time! I felt to protective of those little swimmers.  Lol.

So this morning DH had an appt at the ivf clinic to give a semen sample and have a hormonal panel drawn.  Due to miscommunication between us he told them he didn't need the blood draw (I had told him he didn't need the TSh drawn as that was just done last month!  Still needed testosterone, FSH, LH, estradiol and prolactin drawn).  That was no problem, I sent him to his GP next door with the lab order form. That may actually save us some money if insurance covers it!  I know they wouldn't have touched an order from the IVf clinic.

For the semen sample DH says they walked him down this scary isolated hallway to a teeny tiny closet, with no "material" inside at all!!  Unbelievable.  Luckily he had his iphone with him lol.  So he is doing his thing, when he hears a heated conversation between two clinicians in Arabic going on outside his door....and then a few minutes later they tried to open the door!  Crazy!  He then tried to go back to business, and then someone started yelling in Arabic down the hallway!

That was the end.  He left lol.  Luckily the clinic was so mortified for him that they ended up running the SA for free, saving us 300 aed (approx $80).  

We got his lab results from December when he had his early physical, and I was  surprised to see they ran a testosterone then!  And his level was GOOD!

In April 2010 his level was 180.

In June 2010 his level was 285.

In December 2014 his level was 513!!!

We shall see what the Jan 2015 level is, LOL.

Normal is 270-1070.  So his testosterone level is waaaaay better than back in 2010.  His SA went up dramatically from 2010 to 2014 also (4/5mil per ml to 11 mil per ml). We shall see what today's result was!  

Dare I say I'm starting to feel hopeful that we could get his levels up to IUI standards??  Wouldn't that be something??

Back at the R.E.......

(originally written early January 2015, just publishing some drafts now :-) )

So things have been interesting lately.

We tried naturally last month, used ovukation detector and BD at perfect times.

Obvi it didn't work.  But I had textbook implantation spotting.  Then I had an evap line on a clear blue easy hpt.  I swear those things are evil.  See here:

It never fooled me, but the 1 second moment of thinking it was possible left me knowing we should try again.

I researched all of the IVF clinics here as nauseum.  The one I picked I did so due to them using the newest technology: IMSI (increased magnification during sperm selection increasing fertilization rates) and the embryoscope (takes time lapse photos of embryos during development to assess embryo quality.  No need to disturb those embryos).

If we are gonna do it again I want to know we are giving it everything we've got.  

I had a consultation today, CD 3.  She did an ultrasound, saw a small fibroid outside of my uterus, "not worrisome".  She didn't see a polyp but will repeat the U/s later in my cycle.  She said my ovaries looked "awesome", lots of follicles, and "if it wasn't for your husbands sperm you'd be getting pregnant every month."   

She reviewed DH's semen analysis and lab tests from 6 months ago.  She showed it to the andrologist.  (This is a different clinic than the one we visited 6 months ago, they only said "everything is normal you need ICSI).  He said he wants DH retested, that his testosterone and FSH are on the low side of normal, and he wants his estrogen checked.  If his estrogen is high we can definitely start him on some hormone therapy to get his levels in better form.  "We could get you pregnant maybe with IUI or regular sex!". 

Wow.

And she said if we can't then we will try IVF with IMSI.  Probably not until September.  We have travel galore in spring and summer.  That gives me that much longer to get DH and I healthy!

Speaking of which, I've lost 15 pounds in the last 2 months on the paleo diet!  I've been exercising regularly and drinking way less also.  

I weigh 24 lbs less than with my first IVF.  Can you say new diagnosis of infertility tubby!?!?

So that's that. Recheck for DH, healthy living, we shall see!!!!!!