9dp5dt

My bleeding continues.  All of the symptoms I had are gone - nausea, sore boobs, feverish feeling.  My hpt was lighter this morning than the last few days.  Is it ok that I was relieved the stick wasn't darker?  I am just ready for this to be over.  I feel like my life has been on hold for the last month and I just want to get back to it.

This morning I drank a full caf cup of coffee, then went for a (slow) 1 mile run with Pipsqueak.  I literally have not one shred of hope that this pregnancy is going anywhere but away from me.

Repeat beta tomorrow, unless it wants to magically jump to above 100 than I'd rather it just be way lower.  No increase unless it's a big one please.  Surely that's not too much to ask.

Beta 8dp5dt

is 26.  So obviously low.  And the bleeding continues.  At this point I just hope it goes right down and doesn't drag on.  Repeat beta scheduled for Friday.

4w4d

I NEVER thought I'd get to have a blog post with that kind of title.  I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed.

Beta today at 13dp5dt - 754.  Doubling time of 32.44 hours since my last level!  When the nurse called with my result she said, "Now don't quote me on this, but a level like this means there's probably more than one baby." !!!!!!!!!  The last 2 days I have been peeing much more frequently, had 2 maybe half hour bouts of nausea, and my breasts have more prominent veins and my usually very light nipples are dark - but I was so afraid it was all in my head.  Guess not!

I've tried getting one of those fancy charts showing average singleton hcg rates but I can't find it :(  But beta base says average for a singleton today is 413 and average for twins is 803.

All I want is a healthy pregnancy.  I am so scared of a miscarriage that it seems like one baby would just be easier and less scary...but that said I would be so happy with twins.

I have had no more spotting since 8/9dp5dt.  The more I think about it maybe it was old implantation blood that took a little bit to show?  Whatever it is I hope it stays away!

Thank you all for listening to every freak out and worry that crosses my mind.  All of you are amazing women and I thank God I found you all when I did.

No more blood work (my clinic doesn't every check progesterone - I'm just to continue the endometrin suppositories?) so next up is ultrasound May 23 at 6w4d.  2 weeks from today.  This is going to be one LLLOOOONNNGGG 2ww.

Again I got a bonus beta

So at work tonight (have I mentioned it is very very nice to work in an ER at times like these?) I just had to have another beta drawn because..

a.) tannish light spotting continues and I DON'T LIKE IT (I had one episode where I felt a GUSH, on my liner it was literally tan/skin color and milky - obviously suppository and mixed with old blood?)
b.) Foxy brought up a good point that different labs calibrate things differently and I just know if my beta at Dr Alan's office today shows my beta didn't double I will absolutely go crazy wondering if it is just the differences in laba.

So - 9dp5dt beta is 75.  Doubling time of 43.44 hours.

This is good, right?  Even though it doubled it seems low on the betabase chart.  Also it seems like lots of folks get a good increase, like 28% or whatnot.  I really thought I'd feel better with a double but I'm still scared.

I need to just shut the fuck up and revel in doubling betas.  I am annoying even myself..but if you can't tell I am just a tad bit paranoid. Please tell me to stop worrying and that I should be happy!

Now to see what another lab says my beta is exactly 6 hours after my last one.  Heehee

Edited to add: 2 hours later I have calmed down and am trying to realize that worrying won't help anything.  What will be will be and I might as well enjoy this pregnancy!  So I am offically 4wks 0 days pregnant and extremely grateful.  I am leaving up what I wrote at 3 am in the heat of the moment because I want this blog to truly document what we've gone through.

Early beta result 7dp5dt

So I work in an ER and BEGGED the ER doc to order a beta on me...I had called Dr Alan and asked him to order it eariler than Thursday but the nurse said he won't do one before 9dp5dt.

The number today- 36 at 7dp5dt!

According to betabase average for 12dpo is 37 so I am over the moon!

Thanks for all of the love ladies!