The one and only thing I have been consitently worried about, the only thing that makes me cry, the thing that stresses my marriage and my ability to be a good mother - sleep. Or lack thereof.
I'm sure it's my fault. I think my husband thinks that. I am fairly certain my in-laws think that.
We exclusively breastfeed (in case you missed my novel on the subject yesterday!). The first few weeks into the first few months the experts recommend feeding on demand. It's good for the baby and good for your supply. That means if the newborn wants to nurse every hour all night long you do it. I actually handled this pretty well. I mean every newborn is up all night right?
My struggle is our 10 month old nurses 2-3 times a night still. Or like last night - 6 times. SIX.
My mom said she is probably going through a growth spurt, she just learned to walk and is getting a new tooth and that disrupts sleep and makes them seek comfort. Ok yes I know that is a possibility. But it has been going on for 2+weeks now. AAAAHHHHH
From birth - 6 months she slept in bed with us all night every night, and actually took almost all of her naps in our arms. She would wake up anytime we laid her down. I didn't really mind and neither did my husband. We put the glider in the living room and would watch tv on mute with subtitles while she slept.
At 6 months something changed and she wouldn't wake up when laid down. ALLELUIA! She was able to be put in her pack n play for naps, sometimes even her crib althought that seemed to be more difficult.
Starting at 9 months we got her in her crib for most naps and in her crib for the first shift of the night. Usually from 8/9ish-12/1ish. Almost always a 4 hour stretch. When she wakes up crying I bring her to our bed, nurse her, and she used to sleep until morning. Lately I bring her to my bed, she nurses and falls asleep, and then tries to nurse every hour or so. Last night I slept with my breasts both hanging out and she snacked while I slept.
I think I know what I need to do. Try to get her to stay in the crib all night long. I wouldn't be adverse to letting her fuss/cry a little when she wakes up to see if she will get herself back down but the second she wakes up she jumps up, dances back and forth while holding on to the side, and yells. That is not restful behavior.
Tonight I am going to try to just rock her back to sleep and get her back into her crib when she wakes at about midnight. The problem is I'm lazy and have never fully wakened myself in the night to soothe a baby - co-sleeping means I have comforted her half-asleep all these months.
I guess I don't really have any questions, I just wanted to vent. I don't want to set my daughter up for failure in sleep habits in the future. We have made HUGE strides - she can sleep by herself. She cannot soothe herself to sleep however. I never did the whole "put them in the crib drowsy but awake" thing. I tried it the other day and she jumped up and laughed. Is she going to be damaged from this?
Mostly I want to hear stories about your struggles. Misery loves company and I need some.
I just told the abbreviated version of this to a friend at work and she told me all her kids slept through the night at 8 weeks. Umm yeah, that is very helpful. Thanks so much.
I'm sure it's my fault. I think my husband thinks that. I am fairly certain my in-laws think that.
We exclusively breastfeed (in case you missed my novel on the subject yesterday!). The first few weeks into the first few months the experts recommend feeding on demand. It's good for the baby and good for your supply. That means if the newborn wants to nurse every hour all night long you do it. I actually handled this pretty well. I mean every newborn is up all night right?
My struggle is our 10 month old nurses 2-3 times a night still. Or like last night - 6 times. SIX.
My mom said she is probably going through a growth spurt, she just learned to walk and is getting a new tooth and that disrupts sleep and makes them seek comfort. Ok yes I know that is a possibility. But it has been going on for 2+weeks now. AAAAHHHHH
From birth - 6 months she slept in bed with us all night every night, and actually took almost all of her naps in our arms. She would wake up anytime we laid her down. I didn't really mind and neither did my husband. We put the glider in the living room and would watch tv on mute with subtitles while she slept.
At 6 months something changed and she wouldn't wake up when laid down. ALLELUIA! She was able to be put in her pack n play for naps, sometimes even her crib althought that seemed to be more difficult.
Starting at 9 months we got her in her crib for most naps and in her crib for the first shift of the night. Usually from 8/9ish-12/1ish. Almost always a 4 hour stretch. When she wakes up crying I bring her to our bed, nurse her, and she used to sleep until morning. Lately I bring her to my bed, she nurses and falls asleep, and then tries to nurse every hour or so. Last night I slept with my breasts both hanging out and she snacked while I slept.
I think I know what I need to do. Try to get her to stay in the crib all night long. I wouldn't be adverse to letting her fuss/cry a little when she wakes up to see if she will get herself back down but the second she wakes up she jumps up, dances back and forth while holding on to the side, and yells. That is not restful behavior.
Tonight I am going to try to just rock her back to sleep and get her back into her crib when she wakes at about midnight. The problem is I'm lazy and have never fully wakened myself in the night to soothe a baby - co-sleeping means I have comforted her half-asleep all these months.
I guess I don't really have any questions, I just wanted to vent. I don't want to set my daughter up for failure in sleep habits in the future. We have made HUGE strides - she can sleep by herself. She cannot soothe herself to sleep however. I never did the whole "put them in the crib drowsy but awake" thing. I tried it the other day and she jumped up and laughed. Is she going to be damaged from this?
Mostly I want to hear stories about your struggles. Misery loves company and I need some.
I just told the abbreviated version of this to a friend at work and she told me all her kids slept through the night at 8 weeks. Umm yeah, that is very helpful. Thanks so much.
I was in your boat, too. What I simply did was eliminate the night feeding, but I went in and soothed. Eventually, he stopped calling for me in the middle of the night. However, when I used to nurse him in the night, he suckled for about 2 minutes, and never took an entire feeding. That's when I realized that this was just habit and not hunger. It was hard, especially when he was demanding a boob. Hubby had to take over the night wakings until he was weaned from them.
ReplyDeleteWe are now weaned, and he is 13 months and sleeping through the night. It's glorious, but I miss those cuddles!
Yeah that's what I was thinking - night weaning needs to happen. I work a night shift every now and again and she doesn't eat at all overnight with my husband!
ReplyDeleteDon't you just love the mums who reassure you with tales of how well their babies sleep. I honestly believe that we can only do so much and that some kids just take longer to learn how to do it.
ReplyDeleteWishing you rest mama. And hope that this season passes soon. You are doing a great job.
Oh thank you!!!!! Us moms don't hear that enough!
DeleteMarianne -- my experience was exactly what you're describing...and like My Vegas, once I night-weaned, he stopped asking for it. It's hard, and those nights that you're night weaning, your husband will have to comfort him...but I'd try that before moving him out of your room (unless you want to, of course!).
ReplyDeleteHer, not him! Goodness. :P
DeleteThank you!! So nice to know all of us bf moms I through this!
DeleteYou are doing a great job. She will go through so many sleep habit changes before she is grown. You are NOT damaging her. Believe in yourself and your instincts! Love and Hugs!
ReplyDeleteLove you too hon!
DeleteSorry you are short on sleep! I wish you lots of luck and hope things improve.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteMy son did similar stuff when he was that age. I'm not going to lie, it was horrible for about a month. And then it stopped- no clue why. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI wish we had a crystal ball to tell us what they are going through!!! Thanks!
DeleteSorry to hear about the sleep. Wishing you rest.
ReplyDeleteAn ICLW Visit from #2
liddy @ the unfair struggle (mfi, speedskating, life)
Thank you!
DeleteHere is your misery-company! We do the 8:30-midnight in the crib, then he will not go back to sleep unless he is... yep, in the bed with us. Then it is a restless sleep, tossing and turning with a foot or backside in my face and I am sure my hair is thinning from his hair pulling while asleep habit. Wakes at 6:30 a.m. when I drag myself to the shower. Blissfully not sleeping here either:]
ReplyDeleteThanks for the commiseration!!
Delete