A new blog?

So I am thinking about starting a new blog chronicling our adventures over there.  I have obsessively been reading expat blogs and learning so much.  I am having a dilemma though...I love this blog.  It has been home for so long and I hate to leave it.

But our infertility journey is over - we have decided on absolutely no more treatments, have off-handedly talked about adoption but I doubt we have the drive to go down this road, and the chances of a surprise pregnancy are extremely slim to none.  So maybe I should just transition this blog of mine into an American Girl in the Middle East type vibe?  The problem is of course that this blog is (semi) confidential.  Only one or two people in my real life know about it as far as I know.  And if I start blogging about our new adventures I will want to use my real name and include lots more pics of us, and what's more I will want to give the blog address to my family and friends, perchance even give out the address on facebook, gasp!

What should I do?  I know I can start a new one and just share that address here for any of you who want to follow along.  But I like this space!  I like my blog name.  SO maybe I could convert to using my real name, and maybe put some of the more personal posts to password protected for now.  Maybe half of my family and friends know we did IVF, I'm not very shy about that.  But as far as details about MFI, and the fact that we have debated dIUI several times, I'm not sure DH will want that knowledge public.

Any advice?

Also to all of you currently in treatment, pregnant, or just giving birth - I love you, I wish you nothing but the best, I read your updates, but sometimes it is just too much to comment right now.  I hope you understand.

Changes on the horizon

My husband has been offered a job in the Middle East. We are waiting to hear the official offer before we accept it but it's looking like we could be moving there before the end of the year.

Ummm.  Yeah.

Pros - I can be a stay at home mom, we will get ahead financially, our family of 3 will have all weekends off together (now I work most weekends), and it's a huge career boost for DH.

Cons - It's hot.  It's far from family and friends.

Truthfully I'm ready for an adventure and a change.  Onward and upward!

Doing better

Sorry my last post was so negative.  I'm feeling a lot better about everything now.  Enjoying 2 cups of coffee every morning and playing with my daughter as much as possible.

Today we are going to the Renaissance Festival...I am so excited to take her there!  DH and I have been a couple times before but never with a child.  They have a petting zoo, rides, face painting, elephant rides.  It's gonna be a blast!

It's over

Beta came down to 4.  All day I was praying it was either super high or super low...I got one of my wishes.

The nurse practitioner that called me said it was absolutely nothing I did, it was most likely a genetic defect in the embryo and was doomed from the start.

She said the dr wants to sit down and talk to us about what went wrong.  I told her we can't afford to try again so it doesn't really matter what went wrong.  I almost got through this without crying.

I am pissed off that the Dr himself didn't call me.  After all money, shots, blood draws and conflicting reports from the embryologist I think I deserved at least that.

So I am on beer 5.  Adios IVF, thank you for my daughter, but right now fuck you.

9dp5dt

My bleeding continues.  All of the symptoms I had are gone - nausea, sore boobs, feverish feeling.  My hpt was lighter this morning than the last few days.  Is it ok that I was relieved the stick wasn't darker?  I am just ready for this to be over.  I feel like my life has been on hold for the last month and I just want to get back to it.

This morning I drank a full caf cup of coffee, then went for a (slow) 1 mile run with Pipsqueak.  I literally have not one shred of hope that this pregnancy is going anywhere but away from me.

Repeat beta tomorrow, unless it wants to magically jump to above 100 than I'd rather it just be way lower.  No increase unless it's a big one please.  Surely that's not too much to ask.

Beta 8dp5dt

is 26.  So obviously low.  And the bleeding continues.  At this point I just hope it goes right down and doesn't drag on.  Repeat beta scheduled for Friday.

New plan

Called the RE's nurse.  She was very pessimistic considering I'm now passing clots and bleeding fairly heavy.  We've moved up my beta to tomorrow (8dp5dt) and repeat on Friday. So I'm relieved to know something sooner.  My RE notoriously refused to do betas earlier than 9 days so this is a small victory. 

She told me to continue all meds.  Oh and the great news that I can take the Tylenol #3 that had been rx for egg retrieval for the cramps.

Oh this is certainly a fun day.