Counseling

Our first counseling appt was great!  It felt good to be in a neutral 'safe' place and be able to talk through some things. 

Tentative plan? Once again we are leaning towards dIUI for our first attempt.  Hubby feels good about it, I feel good about it, our finances feel good about it, our family feels good about it (although I have some doubts about the in-laws, mostly his mom) so it seems a go!  We are still planning on waiting for DH's damn doctorate to be done which will be this April.

I'm excited!  I hope this stays firmly in place as the plan for awhile...I can't take much more wavering around!

It's been awhile

I haven't posted forever...which is a good thing really.  It means I haven't felt the need to vent or get support...I suppose that's a sign of health!  BUT I missed writing and reading what's going on with everyone. Here's what's new with me:

• Went to Vegas with the hubby.  Had a BLAST!!!
• I have been working my tail off doing overtime....yuck.
• Lost and then gained back 7 pounds (see the Vegas trip:)
• Realized my husband has no idea what IVF entails:

While in Vegas I had a moment of sadness...for some reason there were babies EVERYWHERE and it got me thinking.  I said, "Wouldn't it be so cool if a year from now we are pregnant?".  He looked at me with a seriously inquisitive face and said, "There is no reason why we won't be".  Ummmm.  I have lots of reasons!  We don't have enough sperm to work with.  We don't have enough money for IVF.  IVF won't necessarily work.  We might be to scared to use donor sperm.  We have shitty luck and it is seriously hard to imagine something going our way for once.

But I digress.

The great thing about his statement is it made me sad/angry/horrified for about 30 seconds.  Then I laughed. Hard.  I mean, how insanely ridiculous???  This is obviously a sign that before IVF he needs some major EDUCATION.  Jeesh.

Tomorrow we are going in for a couples counseling session.  I am kinda looking forward to it.  I am curious to know what emotional obstacles there are to overcome if we go the donor sperm route...because quite frankly that remains to be the option that I think is most feasible for our situation right now.

I am going to try to catch up on all of your fabulous blogs over the weekend...I hope I read only good news!!!

I'm turning in my never been tagged Vcard...

I am really excited...kinda feel like I am a 'real' blogger now :)
Thanks Lauren at Lauren vs The World!!!

1) What is your favorite dessert item?
Pie.  Any kind of pie...but especially pumpkin, blueberry, apple and blackberry.  I prefer pastry items over chocolate any day!


2) What is the craziest thing you've ever done? (Non-baby related)
I'm not proud of this, but a group of us were out drinking and ended up meeting some guys.  We ended up at a strip club in a horrible part of St. Louis and were stranded. We ended up begging for cash to pay for the $80 cab ride back into town.  I miss college, don't you?

3) Do you have any pets? If yes, describe. If no, why not?
Yes!  We have one orange tabby cat.  He is wild...3 years old and still acts like he is a kitten.  


4) Did you ever meet your grandparents?
Yes but they all died when I was a small child.


5) Tell us your favorite joke.
Where does a one legged woman work?
I HOP.



6) How will you be celebrating Halloween this year?
We have some friends coming into town and plan on causing some trouble :)



7) Can you speak any languages other than English?
No. I totally regret taking German in high school because I don't remember any of it.  I know a few French phrases from a trip we took to Paris a few years ago.  I would love to be able to speak it fluently.



8) Unicorns. Lame or awesome?
Somewhere in between.  


So...I tag...


Stephanie at The Life of a Husband and Wife
Jenni at Hope Springs Eternal
Oak at The Elusive Embryo

1) If you could go back in time and choose a different career path what would you choose?

2) If it was possible to know what would be going on in your life 5 years from now would you want to know?  Or would you want to be surprised?

3) What character from a book, movie or tv show is most like you?

4) What's your family's best holiday tradition?

Relaxing Sunday...

I love Sundays, don't you?  Caught up on laundry, lasagna in the crockpot, dishes done, clean sheets on the bed...now to relax with my DVR list.  Heaven!

I've mentioned how I work with several pregnant women (7 actually!).  One of them has had a miscarriage, other than that I believed that the others were super fertile.  Well I was wrong!  A woman I don't know very well but have worked with for a few years came up to me yesterday and asked me if I would like her copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility".  I was taken aback!  I had heard that she had gotten pregnant 'by accident'.  She went on to tell me that she had 3 miscarriages and was SURE that she would never have a baby.  I was really touched that she thought of me...and it really made me want to stop hating most pregnant women I see.  I guess it's not always obvious when a pregnant woman is actually an infertile in hiding.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!  Is anyone else as excited for Fall as I am?

Clomid for men?

We got a letter in the mail today from Dr P (that is so not an original nickname for a urologist is it?) that was kind of a summary of where we are.  We FINALLY got DH's exact second SA and testosterone results from late April:

1.7 cc total
5.2 million per cc
Motility 20%
3% shaped normally.

Now this to me seems to me like a marked improvement over his first SA 4 weeks prior to that -

1.5 cc total
4 million per cc
Motility 10%
0% shaped normally.

Also his testosterone went from around 180 up to 285 (I think anything above 300 is normal).

SO...what now?

Dr P says that we could try putting DH on clomid for 3 months and then retesting...I guess it is known to sometimes improve SA numbers...BUT research doesn't prove why.  So putting my husband on a medicine that causes mood swings (god help me if his moods become any more unstable) and hot flashes to possibly improve numbers in some unknown way?  Is this wise?

Does anyone have any information or experience in this matter?  And are these numbers really so awful that I can't hope for a surprise pregnancy some time?  Or at least to hope to get things good enough for iui and avoid the expense and toil of IVF?

Unbelievable

A fellow blogger just had one of the worst things ever happen.  Go give her some support - One Day.

Good old days...

Last weekend was such a blast!  Got way too drunk for 48 hours straight, got sunburnt, and my abs literally ached by Sunday from laughing so hard.  High school friends are the best!  I felt 17 again!

One of the girls is 18 weeks pregnant, she did a lot of drinking juice and seemed to have a fun time too...obviously I am ridiculously jealous, so jealous I could scream.  She was on the pill when she conceived, hadn't even missed a pill.  Her baby bump was so cute too!  

No real news on our front...except DH's doctoral studies may come to a close sooner than we think...which is a total bummer for him because he has worked so hard but maybe it's meant to be...with work and personal stuff it has all been a lot to handle.  SO maybe we won't have to wait until next summer to try.  If that happens then my blog will turn back into that fascinating roller coaster of dIUI vs IVF.  Stay tuned!  I know you are all on the edge of your seat :)